SUMMER 1983

 

I’ll say this much for him
he had a generous bent

If he had any cash at all
he freely spent it.
on himself
on me
on drinks all around

We played the ponies at OTB
if we won
steak and champagne
if we lost
hotdogs and beer
either way we laughed and ate

A fearless gambler
but hesitant swimmer
he refused to explain
miscellaneous random scars
or wear the swim trunks I bought him

At night we danced
to David Bowie
Marvin Gaye
The Police
his hands on my hips
enhancing the sway

But in truth
he watched me more than touched me
and in general
his generosity was with my money

I maxed my charge cards
by summer’s end

Our two best days were
the day we met
stumbling into each other
in drunken lust
and the day towards the end
at the zoo
As relaxed as giraffes
where alcoholic beverages
are thankfully prohibited

The worst day was
sitting on the kitchen floor
near his unconscious wreck
his sleeping face wore a mask of almost kindness
almost enough to deceive me again
I turned away and devised my escape

But given the chance
I might do it again
for the weightless exuberance
of Life Without Plan
And a smile from those green eyes

But of course
now I’ve learned
Every Breath You Take
is not about love
but ownership.